Living With Anxiety.

I'm emphasizing living in the title. Anyone who suffers from anxiety knows that it is a daily disease. It doesn't just randomly decide to come and go. It's always there. However, I'm not letting anxiety shut me down. You can't let anxiety win, no matter how difficult it may get. Being hopeful is an important part of the healing process

One of the hardest challenges with anxiety is that the people who are around you, that you trust will care for you when you need them, don't understand what it feels like to have anxiety, they only know what they see. The classic, "Just Relax!" treatment is the norm that is given from friends and family who don't understand what it is like to go through an anxiety or panic attack. Trying to explain yourself during an anxiety attack can cause friends to become more defensive and dismissive towards the situation, leading the individual to feel abandoned and alone. Experiences like this got me thinking about how frustrating, embarrassing and painful it can be to suffer from anxiety, and what I wish people would understand about the disorder.


Panic and anxiety disorders are NOT the same thing as your stress.
Biggest pet peeve, ever, is when I try to explain what an anxiety or panic attack is to someone who has never had one and they refer to what they do when they're "stressed." Even better is when they acknowledge that I may just be "stressed out" about an issue and be overreacting. While stress and anxiety can absolutely go hand-in-hand, everyone experiences stress - but not everyone experiences panic attacks and anxiety. By calling someone "stressed" when they are telling you that they're having an anxiety attack makes them feel invalidated, and only makes the sufferer feel misunderstood.


If I could "just relax," I would, trust me.
Do people think that someone enjoys having a panic or anxiety attack? This is one of the most baffling responses to a person in a state of panic or anxiety, in my opinion. I'm guessing that this comes from a place of discomfort or eagerness for the panic sufferer's attack to come to a stop, without realizing what exactly their saying. This is just like telling someone to "not feel sad" when they are depressed, telling someone who's having a panic attack to relax or calm down is not helpful - or even a possibility.

Anxiety is physically painful.

I feel like this one comes as a surprise for most people. Of course anxiety is emotionally painful, and the emotional pain is probably the worst of it - but most people know about the emotional pain but not how it physical impacts an individual. The sensation of your chest tightening during an anxiety attack to the point where you cannot breathe, and it leaves you gasping for your breath. But that's not it - anxiety causes headaches, palpitations, dizziness, insomnia, nausea, and so many other physically draining symptoms. That phrase, "is your stomach in knots?" is a real life scenario for some people who when are deeply anxious, hold their muscles so rigidly that they end up tearing or pulling them.

Yes, I know that I'm being irrational and overreacting.

No, this isn't just being over dramatic to receive your attention. No, you don't need to remind someone that they're being irrational. During a panic attack, the body fully believes that it is in imminent danger - the brain can generate a flood of stress hormones and your fight-or-flight mode can take over. So obviously this isn't a time where people will be able to think rationally. Instead of pointing out that someone is being irrational or overreacting, help me rationalize. Talk someone through the situation, remind them what their options are, but please don't hold judgment toward their "overreaction."


If you don't know what they need, ask.

The worst and most unkind thing that you can do to a person who has anxiety is to pile on, which can be a difficult thing to do, because it may be something you do without even realizing it. A lot of friends and family members say that they just don't know what to do when their loved ones are having a panic attack. It's really simple, just ask. Sometimes, the most comforting thing you can do for something during a panic attack is just to say "I'm here - let me know if there's anything I can do to help you through this." People who suffer from anxiety long to feel safe and understood, and by simply asking what you can do for them can provide them with the comfort that they need in order to start calming down.

Anxiety may be part of your life, but it doesn't have to be your life.