Why is there so much pressure to have the "best 4 years of your life" when you go into college? It's like you have to prove to your family and friends back home about how much of a blast you're having with your new friends by constantly posting and bombarding social media with the images and videos of your adventures. Then when you leave, you assume that everything will remain the same as it was before you moved and left the place you called home the past four years. I guess it was a little naïve of me to think that.
I'm not so sure why I always get so hung up on people - why it hurts so much to let them go. I think about all of the memories that I've shared with someone and start to question their intentions from the start. Whether they did truly appreciate me as a friend or whether I was just an option when they had no one else to talk to or hang out with. Human relationships are so strange. It's strange how the person who once knew every single detail of your life doesn't know a single thing about you today. How sometimes it just ends so abruptly and there sometimes is really no explanation for it at all. Sometimes I get these waves of nostalgia where I miss the people in my past. Some of them I was so close to, or at least I thought that I was, and some of them I actually hated. Like HATED! So why do I miss them? I don't know, maybe I'm actually just missing the idea of them. The idea that at one point, I had one more friend. Because maybe then I wasn't so lonely?
Over the past month, I have really come to find realization of who my true friends are. I know how absolutely cheesy this sounds, but it's so true. You know, those individuals that even though you don't talk to or even see each other often, but when you do it's right back to where you guys were before? HOLD ON TO THOSE PEOPLE. Even though I hadn't seen most of my friends since I graduated college, there was no awkwardness and I didn't feel nervous or uncomfortable at any point. Friendships should be easy and come naturally. Instead of focusing on those who are no longer in my life, I'm currently trying to focus and appreciate the individuals who still are. How blessed am I to have people who actually think I'm worth enough to stick around for?
Know what you deserve and know your worth, so that you can surround yourself with people who make you feel wanted. I'm at that point in my life where I no longer have the time or energy to waste on meaningless interactions. Letting go is something I've always struggled with, but I can now finally say that I have.
Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. The pain may be awful, it may hurt, it may sting, but it eventually fades away. Those individuals soon become a memory, a single chapter in your entire story. You grow as you age, and regardless of where your life takes you, the people who truly love and care for you will continue to grow with you. While some may stop, no matter where you go, there will be individuals who know you are worth sticking around for. Wait for those people, and slowly let go of the ones who have stopped growing with you.
"Why should I be sad? I've lost somebody who didn't care about me. But they lost someone who cared about them."
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